Wow!! What a GREAT animated video and song about Bullying! This comes out of the UK and is wonderful! Click and listen! http://www.jcbsong.co.uk/jcbvideo.asp
A "JCB" is a backhoe here in the USA.... a "digger" in other counties...
Showing posts with label bully at work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bully at work. Show all posts
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Driven by fear
People are more likely to give up their liberties when they're afraid. If 9/11 hadn't happened the "Patriot Act" wouldn't have flown. When people are afraid they give up liberties and rights they wouldn't otherwise relinquish.
When you work for a large corporation, like Media General, the fear is that you could lose your job, or your benefits or your security. So people shut up, put up and ignore blatant violations of their civil and personal rights. The more fear a corporation can invoke, the more power it gains.
On many plantations - slaves outnumbered their owners - yet they didn't (for the most part) stand up for what they knew was right - their freedom. In most of the Nazi camps in Germany during WWII - the Jews far outnumbered the Nazis - and even with guns - they could have organized and overcome their captors. Yes - many would have died - but not as many who were gassed in the ovens. People let fear - their imagined thoughts of what MIGHT happen, what COULD happen - rule them.
I'm not. I don't care about working for Media General or any of the other media outlets in this country. I'm an excellent writer and have more freelance book and copywriting assignments than I can handle right now. And I don't have to deal with dim-wits and buffoons. There are always jobs. There are other ways to make a living and you will be much happier than when you're slaving away for a corporation who devalues you.
Fear is insidious. What is the worst that can happen? So what? None of us are guaranteed anything in life and to live a life controlled by fear is not a life worth living. If you're working for bad management - speak up. Blog. Tell your friends. Boycott their products. Insist on being treated with respect. It's your civil right.
When you work for a large corporation, like Media General, the fear is that you could lose your job, or your benefits or your security. So people shut up, put up and ignore blatant violations of their civil and personal rights. The more fear a corporation can invoke, the more power it gains.
On many plantations - slaves outnumbered their owners - yet they didn't (for the most part) stand up for what they knew was right - their freedom. In most of the Nazi camps in Germany during WWII - the Jews far outnumbered the Nazis - and even with guns - they could have organized and overcome their captors. Yes - many would have died - but not as many who were gassed in the ovens. People let fear - their imagined thoughts of what MIGHT happen, what COULD happen - rule them.
I'm not. I don't care about working for Media General or any of the other media outlets in this country. I'm an excellent writer and have more freelance book and copywriting assignments than I can handle right now. And I don't have to deal with dim-wits and buffoons. There are always jobs. There are other ways to make a living and you will be much happier than when you're slaving away for a corporation who devalues you.
Fear is insidious. What is the worst that can happen? So what? None of us are guaranteed anything in life and to live a life controlled by fear is not a life worth living. If you're working for bad management - speak up. Blog. Tell your friends. Boycott their products. Insist on being treated with respect. It's your civil right.
Workplace bullies
Great article someone sent me. Read it here or go here to see the original.
June 24, 2008
From the Playground to the Boardroom: Workplace Bullies
By David R. Butcher
Apprehensive about going to work? Filled with anxiety once you're there? You may simply be stressed out from your workload. Or these signs could be indicative of something far more insidious.
Bullying in the workplace is a lot more common than many people realize.
In what's considered the largest scientific study conducted in the United States on the topic, 37 percent of American workers said they have experienced workplace bullying. That's nearly 54 million people who have been bullied on the job.
Yet bullying in the workplace is a global epidemic, albeit a "silent" one. Unlike the playground bully who often resorts to physical threats, the work bully's tactics are often subtle.
Workplace bullying is generally defined as "repeated, malicious, health-endangering mistreatment" of one or more employees or employers directed towards another employee or employees, which is intended to intimidate and create a risk to the health and safety of the employee. It can take the form of verbal abuse; offensive conduct/behavior that is threatening, humiliating or intimidating; and/or work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done.
In March, University of Manitoba researchers reported that the emotional toll of workplace bullying is more severe than that of sexual harassment.
Many such situations involve employees bullying their peers, rather than a supervisor bullying an employee. However, very often this type of harassment stems from an abuse or misuse of power. According to the massive survey mentioned above, from the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) and research firm Zogby Interactive, the stereotype is real: most bullies are bosses. While 55 percent of those bullied are rank-and-file workers, 72 percent of bullies are bosses.
In today's corporate culture, supervisors may condone bullying as part of a tough management style. To help determine if you are a target of workplace bullying, Dr. Gary Namie, cofounder of the WBI and author of the book Bully at Work, offers the following telltale signs:
* Agenda-less meetings where you're humiliated;
* Unwarranted or invalid criticism;
* False accusations of incompetence (blame without factual justification);
* Never being left alone to do your job;
* Exclusion or social isolation;
* Excessive monitoring;
* People feeling justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you're punished if you scream back; and
* Everything done to you is arbitrary and capricious, based on a personal agenda that undermines the employer's legitimate business interests.
Forty-five percent of bully targets suffer stress-related health problems, psychological-emotional injuries and other financial effects, according to last fall's WBI-Zogby survey and other research.
Problems can include cardiovascular problems (hypertension to strokes and heart attacks), immunological impairment (more frequent infections of greater severity), fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, panic attacks, clinical depression and even post-traumatic stress disorder. Victims of bullying can also experience reduced self-esteem and increased self-blame, musculoskeletal problems, sleep disturbances, digestive problems and, due to absence, financial problems. (Source: Washington State, Department of Labor and Industries)
At the same time, companies should be concerned about bullying, "if for no other reason than its potential to damage the bottom line," notes Monster.com.
Bullying can lead to such heavy tangible costs as those brought by downtime and workers' comp awards, as well as turnover (Who wants to work in a toxic and hostile workplace?) and resultant new-recruitment time and fees.
Yet there are also those intangible costs: tainted reputation, staff resistance and even sabotage by fearful employees who know no alternatives when management fails to punish or purge the bully.
What can companies do to prevent this kind of abuse in the workplace? "As with any form of harassment, management's vigilance is key," with the employer close enough to day-to-day operations that such harassment is recognizable, says Monster.com.
Yet even this will not necessarily end abuse.
Several states in the U.S. have introduced legislation — so far without any real success. In fact, America lags far behind the rest of the Western industrialized countries both in acknowledging bullying at work and in legislative measures that address it on a societal level. Currently, there is no anti-bullying law in any U.S. state.
Business groups often argue that existing laws are adequate to protect workers. But bullying generally transcends sex, age or race, which have protected status in the courts. Instead, many hostilities in the workplace occur simply because one person doesn't like another.
Fortunately, increasingly more employees and employers are acknowledging this epidemic and trying to understand and fight it. As recent as May 2008, a paper titled "Nightmares, Demons and Slaves: Exploring the Painful Metaphors of Workplace Bullying" was the most downloaded article for the journal Management Communication Quarterly.
Resources
Half of Working Americans Affected by Workplace Bullying
Workplace Bullying Institute and Zogby Interactive, Aug. 30, 2007
Bullying More Harmful Than Sexual Harassment On the Job
The University of Manitoba (via American Psychological Association), March 8, 2008
Workplace Bullying: What Everyone Needs to Know
Washington State Dept. of Labor and Industries, April 2008
Bullying Defined
Workplace Bullying Institute
How Employers Pay for Bullying
Workplace Bullying Institute
Negative Health Impact on Bullied Targets
Workplace Bullying Institute
Workplace Bullying: What Can You Do?
by John Rossheim
Monster.com, Jan. 20, 2007
Workplace Bullying: Who's Your Bully?
by John Rossheim
Monster.com, Jan. 20, 2007
Psychiatric Distress and Symptoms of PTSD Among Victims of Bullying at Work
by S.B. Matthiesen and S. Einarsen
British Journal of Guidance & Counselling, August 2004
Nightmares, Demons and Slaves: Exploring the Painful Metaphors of Workplace Bullying
by Sarah J. Tracey, Pamela Lutgen-Sandvik and Jess K. Alberts
Management Communication Quarterly, 2006
June 24, 2008
From the Playground to the Boardroom: Workplace Bullies
By David R. Butcher
Apprehensive about going to work? Filled with anxiety once you're there? You may simply be stressed out from your workload. Or these signs could be indicative of something far more insidious.
Bullying in the workplace is a lot more common than many people realize.
In what's considered the largest scientific study conducted in the United States on the topic, 37 percent of American workers said they have experienced workplace bullying. That's nearly 54 million people who have been bullied on the job.
Yet bullying in the workplace is a global epidemic, albeit a "silent" one. Unlike the playground bully who often resorts to physical threats, the work bully's tactics are often subtle.
Workplace bullying is generally defined as "repeated, malicious, health-endangering mistreatment" of one or more employees or employers directed towards another employee or employees, which is intended to intimidate and create a risk to the health and safety of the employee. It can take the form of verbal abuse; offensive conduct/behavior that is threatening, humiliating or intimidating; and/or work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done.
In March, University of Manitoba researchers reported that the emotional toll of workplace bullying is more severe than that of sexual harassment.
Many such situations involve employees bullying their peers, rather than a supervisor bullying an employee. However, very often this type of harassment stems from an abuse or misuse of power. According to the massive survey mentioned above, from the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) and research firm Zogby Interactive, the stereotype is real: most bullies are bosses. While 55 percent of those bullied are rank-and-file workers, 72 percent of bullies are bosses.
In today's corporate culture, supervisors may condone bullying as part of a tough management style. To help determine if you are a target of workplace bullying, Dr. Gary Namie, cofounder of the WBI and author of the book Bully at Work, offers the following telltale signs:
* Agenda-less meetings where you're humiliated;
* Unwarranted or invalid criticism;
* False accusations of incompetence (blame without factual justification);
* Never being left alone to do your job;
* Exclusion or social isolation;
* Excessive monitoring;
* People feeling justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you're punished if you scream back; and
* Everything done to you is arbitrary and capricious, based on a personal agenda that undermines the employer's legitimate business interests.
Forty-five percent of bully targets suffer stress-related health problems, psychological-emotional injuries and other financial effects, according to last fall's WBI-Zogby survey and other research.
Problems can include cardiovascular problems (hypertension to strokes and heart attacks), immunological impairment (more frequent infections of greater severity), fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, panic attacks, clinical depression and even post-traumatic stress disorder. Victims of bullying can also experience reduced self-esteem and increased self-blame, musculoskeletal problems, sleep disturbances, digestive problems and, due to absence, financial problems. (Source: Washington State, Department of Labor and Industries)
At the same time, companies should be concerned about bullying, "if for no other reason than its potential to damage the bottom line," notes Monster.com.
Bullying can lead to such heavy tangible costs as those brought by downtime and workers' comp awards, as well as turnover (Who wants to work in a toxic and hostile workplace?) and resultant new-recruitment time and fees.
Yet there are also those intangible costs: tainted reputation, staff resistance and even sabotage by fearful employees who know no alternatives when management fails to punish or purge the bully.
What can companies do to prevent this kind of abuse in the workplace? "As with any form of harassment, management's vigilance is key," with the employer close enough to day-to-day operations that such harassment is recognizable, says Monster.com.
Yet even this will not necessarily end abuse.
Several states in the U.S. have introduced legislation — so far without any real success. In fact, America lags far behind the rest of the Western industrialized countries both in acknowledging bullying at work and in legislative measures that address it on a societal level. Currently, there is no anti-bullying law in any U.S. state.
Business groups often argue that existing laws are adequate to protect workers. But bullying generally transcends sex, age or race, which have protected status in the courts. Instead, many hostilities in the workplace occur simply because one person doesn't like another.
Fortunately, increasingly more employees and employers are acknowledging this epidemic and trying to understand and fight it. As recent as May 2008, a paper titled "Nightmares, Demons and Slaves: Exploring the Painful Metaphors of Workplace Bullying" was the most downloaded article for the journal Management Communication Quarterly.
Resources
Half of Working Americans Affected by Workplace Bullying
Workplace Bullying Institute and Zogby Interactive, Aug. 30, 2007
Bullying More Harmful Than Sexual Harassment On the Job
The University of Manitoba (via American Psychological Association), March 8, 2008
Workplace Bullying: What Everyone Needs to Know
Washington State Dept. of Labor and Industries, April 2008
Bullying Defined
Workplace Bullying Institute
How Employers Pay for Bullying
Workplace Bullying Institute
Negative Health Impact on Bullied Targets
Workplace Bullying Institute
Workplace Bullying: What Can You Do?
by John Rossheim
Monster.com, Jan. 20, 2007
Workplace Bullying: Who's Your Bully?
by John Rossheim
Monster.com, Jan. 20, 2007
Psychiatric Distress and Symptoms of PTSD Among Victims of Bullying at Work
by S.B. Matthiesen and S. Einarsen
British Journal of Guidance & Counselling, August 2004
Nightmares, Demons and Slaves: Exploring the Painful Metaphors of Workplace Bullying
by Sarah J. Tracey, Pamela Lutgen-Sandvik and Jess K. Alberts
Management Communication Quarterly, 2006
New work trend = Power to the people
Prior to the internet Corporate America ruled the worker. They had the power, the attorneys, the money and the intimidation factor to squash any uprising among the workers. Even with our constitutional rights there was little, if anything, people could do to fight back.
Then came the internet. Free speech. An audience. Affordable access to the people. THIS then, was the world America's Founding fathers imagined. A world where people could speak out.
In the scheme of things you might not think this is a big deal. If you don't, you're failing to see the significance. What happens to a corporation the size of Media General when employees start speaking up? What happens when truth wins? What happens when managers are forced to manage and to treat people with respect for fear of being "outed" in a public venue? What happens when bullies are videotaped or recorded and their actions posted to the web? Victims arise!! If you are being bullied, find a way to document it and then post it to the internet. We can win. Check your state's laws regarding tape recorders and cameras. You can now buy cameras so small they fit inside an ordinary inkpen, a baseball cap....know the laws of YOUR state. I am not a lawyer and this is NOT legal advice. I am saying that the criminals, the stupid and incompetent managers, the bullies and the jerks have ruled for too long by lying and deceiving.
The time has come to expose them. If you don't speak up - out of fear - then you can't change much. If you speak the truth, and others speak the truth...we can change things. I know FOR A FACT that there are at least a DOZEN former Media General employees who feel and were treated as poorly or worse than I was. They have agreed to testify if we end up in court even though they told Media General they were leaving for other jobs when they left. Some were fired. Some were laid off. But the bitter taste remains.
Where do you work? Is your manager a jerk? According to all the studies at least 60% of us leave our jobs not because of the company but because of our managers.
I challenge you. Start a blog. If you're an entrepreneur - start an internet site called "WorkTube.com" and start encouraging people to post videos about their jobs - good and and bad. That's a free idea. Anyone out there is welcome to take it. Consider it open source and make a million. The world of work - as we know it. Is about to change...
Managers? Take note. Within a year there will be a list of 100 of the most horrible places to work....and Media General, I'm sure, will be on that list. Because that's where I'm casting my vote.
Then came the internet. Free speech. An audience. Affordable access to the people. THIS then, was the world America's Founding fathers imagined. A world where people could speak out.
In the scheme of things you might not think this is a big deal. If you don't, you're failing to see the significance. What happens to a corporation the size of Media General when employees start speaking up? What happens when truth wins? What happens when managers are forced to manage and to treat people with respect for fear of being "outed" in a public venue? What happens when bullies are videotaped or recorded and their actions posted to the web? Victims arise!! If you are being bullied, find a way to document it and then post it to the internet. We can win. Check your state's laws regarding tape recorders and cameras. You can now buy cameras so small they fit inside an ordinary inkpen, a baseball cap....know the laws of YOUR state. I am not a lawyer and this is NOT legal advice. I am saying that the criminals, the stupid and incompetent managers, the bullies and the jerks have ruled for too long by lying and deceiving.
The time has come to expose them. If you don't speak up - out of fear - then you can't change much. If you speak the truth, and others speak the truth...we can change things. I know FOR A FACT that there are at least a DOZEN former Media General employees who feel and were treated as poorly or worse than I was. They have agreed to testify if we end up in court even though they told Media General they were leaving for other jobs when they left. Some were fired. Some were laid off. But the bitter taste remains.
Where do you work? Is your manager a jerk? According to all the studies at least 60% of us leave our jobs not because of the company but because of our managers.
I challenge you. Start a blog. If you're an entrepreneur - start an internet site called "WorkTube.com" and start encouraging people to post videos about their jobs - good and and bad. That's a free idea. Anyone out there is welcome to take it. Consider it open source and make a million. The world of work - as we know it. Is about to change...
Managers? Take note. Within a year there will be a list of 100 of the most horrible places to work....and Media General, I'm sure, will be on that list. Because that's where I'm casting my vote.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Bullies at work and the trauma they cause
One of the issues I raised months ago with human resources was the bullying that goes on at The Danville Register & Bee. I even wrote and asked Virgil Goode about where he stood/voted on recent bullying legislation. (He wrote back that he voted for the recent anti-bullying legislation bill in Virginia - but there was no mention of any adult bullying legislation. That's what I've been asked to testify about next term).
Anyway, Ann Austin and Bonne Mahler of human resources claim they "investigated," my allegations, but the people I talked to said no one ever asked them about the things I reported. I was explaining this the other day to someone and they said, "Well, what is bullying?" I sent the corporate human resources people this information and more, taken from the website www.bullyonline.org. That site has since gone offline, but has been temporarily replaced by a site called www.bullyoffline.org. Just in case the information there goes offline again I've copied it here with the proper attributions they request. Most people don't realize they are being bullied until they read this. I didn't. My counselor recognized the symptoms and attributes the PTSD I was diagnosed with as caused in large part to the bullying. The Danville Register & Bee is filled with bullies:
Bullying is the common denominator of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, conflict and violence. When the bullying has a focus (eg race or gender) it is expressed as racial prejudice or harassment, or sexual discrimination and harassment, and so on. Although bullying often lacks a focus, bullies are deeply prejudiced but at the same time sufficiently devious to not reveal their prejudices to the extent that they contravene laws on harassment and discrimination.
Why me?
There are many reasons how and why bullies target others, and the reasons are consistent between cases. There are many myths and stereotypes such as "victims are weak" which I deconstruct on my myths page. Bullying often repeats because the reasons that bullies target their victims don't change, hence this section also answers the questions "Why do I keep getting bullied" and "Why do bullies continue to bully me?".
1) How do bullies select their targets?
The bully selects their target using the following criteria:
* bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; this is always the main reason - investigation will reveal a string of predecessors, and you will have a string of successors
* being good at your job, often excelling
* being popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients, etc)
* more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear
* being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
* having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise
* having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)
* having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited
* being too old or too expensive (usually both)
* refusing to join an established clique
* showing independence of thought or deed
* refusing to become a corporate clone and drone
Jealousy (of relationships and perceived exclusion therefrom) and envy (of talents, abilities, circumstances or possessions) are strong motivators of bullying.
2) Events that trigger bullying
Bullying starts after one of these events:
* the previous target leaves
* there's a reorganisation
* a new manager is appointed
* your performance unwittingly highlights, draws attention to, exposes or invites unfavourable comparison with the bully's lack of performance (the harder you work to address the bully's claims of underperformance, the more insecure and unstable the bully becomes)
* you may have unwittingly become the focus of attention whereas before the bully was the centre of attention (this often occurs with female bullies) - most bullies are emotionally immature and thus crave attention
* obvious displays of affection, respect or trust from co-workers
* refusing to obey an order which violates rules, regulations, procedures, or is illegal
* standing up for a colleague who is being bullied - this ensures you will be next; sometimes the bully drops their current target and turns their attention to you immediately
* blowing the whistle on incompetence, malpractice, fraud, illegality, breaches of procedure, breaches of health & safety regulations etc
* undertaking trade union duties
* suffering illness or injury, whether work related or not
* challenging the status quo, especially unwittingly
* gaining recognition for your achievements, eg winning an award or being publicly recognised
* gaining promotion
3) Personal qualities that bullies find irresistible
Targets of bullying usually have these qualities:
* popularity (this stimulates jealousy in the less-than-popular bully)
* competence (this stimulates envy in the less-than-competent bully)
* intelligence and intellect
* honesty and integrity (which bullies despise)
* you're trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable
* a well-developed integrity which you're unwilling to compromise
* you're always willing to go that extra mile and expect others to do the same
* successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude
* a sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness
* imaginative, creative, innovative
* idealistic, optimistic, always working for improvement and betterment of self, family, the employer, and the world
* ability to master new skills
* ability to think long term and to see the bigger picture
* sensitivity (this is a constellation of values to be cherished including empathy, concern for others, respect, tolerance etc)
* slow to anger
* helpful, always willing to share knowledge and experience
* giving and selfless
* difficulty saying no
* diligent, industrious
* tolerant
* strong sense of honour
* irrepressible, wanting to tackle and correct injustice wherever you see it
* an inability to value oneself whilst attributing greater importance and validity to other people's opinions of oneself (eg through tests, exams, appraisals, manager's feedback, etc)
* low propensity to violence (ie you prefer to resolve conflict through dialogue rather than through violence or legal action)
* a strong forgiving streak (which the bully exploits and manipulates to dissuade you from taking grievance and legal action)
* a desire to always think well of others
* being incorruptible, having high moral standards which you are unwilling to compromise
* being unwilling to lower standards
* a strong well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise or abandon
* high expectations of those in authority and a dislike of incompetent people in positions of power who abuse power
* a tendency to self-deprecation, indecisiveness, deference and approval seeking
* low assertiveness
* a need to feel valued
* quick to apologise when accused, even if not guilty (this is a useful technique for defusing an aggressive customer or potential road rage incident)
* perfectionism
* higher-than-average levels of dependency, naivety and guilt
* a strong sense of fair play and a desire to always be reasonable
* high coping skills under stress, especially when the injury to health becomes apparent
* a tendency to internalise anger rather than express it
The typical sequence of events is:
* the target is selected using the criteria above, then bullied for months, perhaps years
* eventually, the target asserts their right not to be bullied, perhaps by filing a complaint with personnel
* personnel interview the bully, who uses their Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, and charm to tell the opposite story (charm has a motive - deception)
* it's one word against another with no witnesses and no evidence, so personnel take the word of the senior employee - serial bullies excel at deception and evasion of accountability
* the personnel department are hoodwinked by the bully into getting rid of the target - serial bullies are adept at encouraging conflict between people who might otherwise pool negative information about them
* once the target is gone, there's a period of between 2-14 days, then a new target is selected and the process starts again (bullying is an obsessive compulsive behaviour and serial bullies seem unable to survive without a target on to whom they can project their inadequacy and incompetence whilst blaming them for the bully's own failings)
* even if the employer realises that they might have sided with the wrong person in the past, they are unlikely to admit that because to do so may incur liability
* if legal action is taken, employers go to increasingly greater lengths to keep targets quiet, usually by offering a small out-of-court settlement with a comprehensive gagging clause
* employers are often more frightened of the bully than the target and will go to enormous lengths to avoid having to deal with bully (promotion for the bully is the most common outcome)
Where are people bullied?
* at work by their manager or co-workers or subordinates, or by their clients (bullying, workplace bullying, mobbing, work abuse, harassment, discrimination)
* at home by their partner or parents or siblings or children (bullying, assault, domestic violence, abuse, verbal abuse)
* at school (bullying, harassment, assault)
* in the care of others, such as in hospital, convalescent homes, care homes, residential homes (bullying, harassment, assault)
* in the armed forces (bullying, harassment, discrimination, assault)
* by those in authority (harassment, abuse of power)
* by neighbours and landlords (bullying, harassment)
* by strangers (harassment, stalking, assault, sexual assault, rape, grievous bodily harm, murder)
How do you know if you're being bullied? Bullying differs from harassment and assault in that the latter can result from a single incident or small number of incidents - which everybody recognises as harassment or assault - whereas bullying tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time. Each incident tends to be trivial, and on its own and out of context does not constitute an offence or grounds for disciplinary or grievance action. So, ...
What is bullying?
* constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature - the triviality, regularity and frequency betray bullying; often there is a grain of truth (but only a grain) in the criticism to fool you into believing the criticism has validity, which it does not; often, the criticism is based on distortion, misrepresentation or fabrication
* simultaneous with the criticism, a constant refusal to acknowledge you and your contributions and achievements or to recognise your existence and value
* constant attempts to undermine you and your position, status, worth, value and potential
* where you are in a group (eg at work), being singled out and treated differently; for instance, everyone else can get away with murder but the moment you put a foot wrong - however trivial - action is taken against you
* being isolated and separated from colleagues, excluded from what's going on, marginalized, overruled, ignored, sidelined, frozen out, sent to Coventry
* being belittled, demeaned and patronised, especially in front of others
* being humiliated, shouted at and threatened, often in front of others
* being overloaded with work, or having all your work taken away and replaced with either menial tasks (filing, photocopying, minute taking) or with no work at all
* finding that your work - and the credit for it - is stolen and plagiarised
* having your responsibility increased but your authority taken away
* having annual leave, sickness leave, and - especially - compassionate leave refused
* being denied training necessary for you to fulfil your duties
* having unrealistic goals set, which change as you approach them
* ditto deadlines which are changed at short notice - or no notice - and without you being informed until it's too late
* finding that everything you say and do is twisted, distorted and misrepresented
* being subjected to disciplinary procedures with verbal or written warnings imposed for trivial or fabricated reasons and without proper investigation
* being coerced into leaving through no fault of your own, constructive dismissal, early or ill-health retirement, etc
How do I recognise a bully?
Most bullying is traceable to one person, male or female - bullying is not a gender issue. Bullies are often clever people (especially female bullies) but you can be clever too.
Who does this describe in your life?
* Jekyll & Hyde nature - vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target sees both sides
* is a convincing, compulsive liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
* uses lots of charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present; the motive of the charm is deception and its purpose is to compensate for lack of empathy
* relies on mimicry to convince others that they are a "normal" human being but their words, writing and deeds are hollow, superficial and glib
* displays a great deal of certitude and self-assuredness to mask their insecurity
* excels at deception
* exhibits unusual inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters or sexual behaviour; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or intimations of sexual harassment, sex discrimination or sexual abuse (sometimes racial prejudice as well)
* exhibits much controlling behaviour and is a control freak
* displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to acknowledge, value and praise others
* when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
* often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully is oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen (and believe they are seen), and how they are actually seen
* has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, trust and integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, distrust and deceitfulness)
* when called to account, immediately and aggressively denies everything, then counter-attacks with distorted or fabricated criticisms and allegations; if this is insufficient, quickly feigns victimhood, often by bursting into tears (the purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus evade accountability by manipulating others through the use of guilt)
* is also ... aggressive, devious, manipulative, spiteful, vengeful, doesn't listen, can't sustain mature adult conversation, lacks a conscience, shows no remorse, is drawn to power, emotionally cold and flat, humourless, joyless, ungrateful, dysfunctional, disruptive, divisive, rigid and inflexible, selfish, insincere, insecure, immature and deeply inadequate, especially in interpersonal skills
I (www.bullyoffline.org - not Becky) estimate one person in thirty has this behaviour profile. I describe them as having a disordered personality: an aggressive but intelligent individual who expresses their violence psychologically (constant criticism etc) rather than physically (assault). For the full profile, click here; to see and be able to recognise the four most common types of serial bully, click here.
What does bullying do to my health?
Bullying causes injury to health and makes you ill. How many of these symptoms do you have?
* constant high levels of stress and anxiety
* frequent illness such as viral infections especially flu and glandular fever, colds, coughs, chest, ear, nose and throat infections (stress plays havoc with your immune system)
* aches and pains in the joints and muscles with no obvious cause; also back pain with no obvious cause and which won't go away or respond to treatment
* headaches and migraines
* tiredness, exhaustion, constant fatigue
* sleeplessness, nightmares, waking early, waking up more tired than when you went to bed
* flashbacks and replays, obsessiveness, can't get the bullying out of your mind
* irritable bowel syndrome
* skin problems such as eczema, psoriasis, athlete's foot, ulcers, shingles, urticaria
* poor concentration, can't concentrate on anything for long
* bad or intermittently-functioning memory, forgetfulness, especially with trivial day-to-day things
* sweating, trembling, shaking, palpitations, panic attacks
* tearfulness, bursting into tears regularly and over trivial things
* uncharacteristic irritability and angry outbursts
* hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia), being constantly on edge
* hypersensitivity, fragility, isolation, withdrawal
* reactive depression, a feeling of woebegoneness, lethargy, hopelessness, anger, futility and more
* shattered self-confidence, low self-worth, low self-esteem, loss of self-love, etc
For the full set of symptoms of injury to health caused by prolonged negative stress (such as that caused by bullying, harassment, abuse etc) click here. For details of the trauma that results, click here.
* * *
Near the end of April, right after the Cunningham fatality, I took sick leave because I could not function. I had already been diagnosed with PTSD because of the bullying, but being forced to go out to take photos (that the paper would never use) of what Bernard Baker hoped was the body of a young girl (he kept saying, "I heard it's a young girl, get pictures,") and angry that I needed to get both gas money and gas to get out there (Register & Bee re-imburses gas expenses, so when your gas expenses run $240 a month or more depending on how many fires and accidents there are, it is possible to run out of both money and gas two days before payday when you have to make unexpected runs). It was too much.
In the months prior to that I had taken photos of a woman who poured kerosene on herself and set herself on fire...and photos of an elderly couple who had just celebrated a 50th wedding anniversary then both died in a house fire. I sat in the mud with their adult grandson and held him and we cried and prayed while we sat 30 yards from his grandparents who were covered with sheets. So many fires, so many bodies. Then to have to go back to the newspaper and be bullied, picked at was too much. I could not continue to work.
My brain simply quit functioning. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus, couldn't write. The bullying and retaliation continued. I had been home only two days when I was told to return all the camera equipment. None of the male photographers had ever had to return camera equipment - not when on leave. I was/am the only one at the paper who knows how to use the newspapers cameras. At that point I wasn't even sure I would be out more than a week. They kept on and kept on. I filed for disability and the insurance company (Sedgewick) denied it - based they said, on my doctor's report. The problem was - my doctor had not yet submitted anything other than a note addressed to The Danville Register & Bee's HR department excusing me from work. Fraud?? How can you claim to have looked at non-existent reports and deny a claim based on that? Well - the Register & Bee again - hard at work. And so it goes...they (R&B) continues to lose paperwork my doctor has faxed and when a piece of information is critical they sent it to the wrong address and then waited until the deadline had passed to ask about it. Things that could have been emailed weren't. It was all calculated to force me to quit.
If Human Resources had spent half that energy investigating and acting on my complaint about the bullying or the video tapes of women Mac was taking - none of this would have happened. Bullies. Plain and simple.
Anyway, Ann Austin and Bonne Mahler of human resources claim they "investigated," my allegations, but the people I talked to said no one ever asked them about the things I reported. I was explaining this the other day to someone and they said, "Well, what is bullying?" I sent the corporate human resources people this information and more, taken from the website www.bullyonline.org. That site has since gone offline, but has been temporarily replaced by a site called www.bullyoffline.org. Just in case the information there goes offline again I've copied it here with the proper attributions they request. Most people don't realize they are being bullied until they read this. I didn't. My counselor recognized the symptoms and attributes the PTSD I was diagnosed with as caused in large part to the bullying. The Danville Register & Bee is filled with bullies:
Bullying is the common denominator of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, conflict and violence. When the bullying has a focus (eg race or gender) it is expressed as racial prejudice or harassment, or sexual discrimination and harassment, and so on. Although bullying often lacks a focus, bullies are deeply prejudiced but at the same time sufficiently devious to not reveal their prejudices to the extent that they contravene laws on harassment and discrimination.
Why me?
There are many reasons how and why bullies target others, and the reasons are consistent between cases. There are many myths and stereotypes such as "victims are weak" which I deconstruct on my myths page. Bullying often repeats because the reasons that bullies target their victims don't change, hence this section also answers the questions "Why do I keep getting bullied" and "Why do bullies continue to bully me?".
1) How do bullies select their targets?
The bully selects their target using the following criteria:
* bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; this is always the main reason - investigation will reveal a string of predecessors, and you will have a string of successors
* being good at your job, often excelling
* being popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients, etc)
* more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear
* being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
* having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise
* having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)
* having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited
* being too old or too expensive (usually both)
* refusing to join an established clique
* showing independence of thought or deed
* refusing to become a corporate clone and drone
Jealousy (of relationships and perceived exclusion therefrom) and envy (of talents, abilities, circumstances or possessions) are strong motivators of bullying.
2) Events that trigger bullying
Bullying starts after one of these events:
* the previous target leaves
* there's a reorganisation
* a new manager is appointed
* your performance unwittingly highlights, draws attention to, exposes or invites unfavourable comparison with the bully's lack of performance (the harder you work to address the bully's claims of underperformance, the more insecure and unstable the bully becomes)
* you may have unwittingly become the focus of attention whereas before the bully was the centre of attention (this often occurs with female bullies) - most bullies are emotionally immature and thus crave attention
* obvious displays of affection, respect or trust from co-workers
* refusing to obey an order which violates rules, regulations, procedures, or is illegal
* standing up for a colleague who is being bullied - this ensures you will be next; sometimes the bully drops their current target and turns their attention to you immediately
* blowing the whistle on incompetence, malpractice, fraud, illegality, breaches of procedure, breaches of health & safety regulations etc
* undertaking trade union duties
* suffering illness or injury, whether work related or not
* challenging the status quo, especially unwittingly
* gaining recognition for your achievements, eg winning an award or being publicly recognised
* gaining promotion
3) Personal qualities that bullies find irresistible
Targets of bullying usually have these qualities:
* popularity (this stimulates jealousy in the less-than-popular bully)
* competence (this stimulates envy in the less-than-competent bully)
* intelligence and intellect
* honesty and integrity (which bullies despise)
* you're trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable
* a well-developed integrity which you're unwilling to compromise
* you're always willing to go that extra mile and expect others to do the same
* successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude
* a sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness
* imaginative, creative, innovative
* idealistic, optimistic, always working for improvement and betterment of self, family, the employer, and the world
* ability to master new skills
* ability to think long term and to see the bigger picture
* sensitivity (this is a constellation of values to be cherished including empathy, concern for others, respect, tolerance etc)
* slow to anger
* helpful, always willing to share knowledge and experience
* giving and selfless
* difficulty saying no
* diligent, industrious
* tolerant
* strong sense of honour
* irrepressible, wanting to tackle and correct injustice wherever you see it
* an inability to value oneself whilst attributing greater importance and validity to other people's opinions of oneself (eg through tests, exams, appraisals, manager's feedback, etc)
* low propensity to violence (ie you prefer to resolve conflict through dialogue rather than through violence or legal action)
* a strong forgiving streak (which the bully exploits and manipulates to dissuade you from taking grievance and legal action)
* a desire to always think well of others
* being incorruptible, having high moral standards which you are unwilling to compromise
* being unwilling to lower standards
* a strong well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise or abandon
* high expectations of those in authority and a dislike of incompetent people in positions of power who abuse power
* a tendency to self-deprecation, indecisiveness, deference and approval seeking
* low assertiveness
* a need to feel valued
* quick to apologise when accused, even if not guilty (this is a useful technique for defusing an aggressive customer or potential road rage incident)
* perfectionism
* higher-than-average levels of dependency, naivety and guilt
* a strong sense of fair play and a desire to always be reasonable
* high coping skills under stress, especially when the injury to health becomes apparent
* a tendency to internalise anger rather than express it
The typical sequence of events is:
* the target is selected using the criteria above, then bullied for months, perhaps years
* eventually, the target asserts their right not to be bullied, perhaps by filing a complaint with personnel
* personnel interview the bully, who uses their Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, and charm to tell the opposite story (charm has a motive - deception)
* it's one word against another with no witnesses and no evidence, so personnel take the word of the senior employee - serial bullies excel at deception and evasion of accountability
* the personnel department are hoodwinked by the bully into getting rid of the target - serial bullies are adept at encouraging conflict between people who might otherwise pool negative information about them
* once the target is gone, there's a period of between 2-14 days, then a new target is selected and the process starts again (bullying is an obsessive compulsive behaviour and serial bullies seem unable to survive without a target on to whom they can project their inadequacy and incompetence whilst blaming them for the bully's own failings)
* even if the employer realises that they might have sided with the wrong person in the past, they are unlikely to admit that because to do so may incur liability
* if legal action is taken, employers go to increasingly greater lengths to keep targets quiet, usually by offering a small out-of-court settlement with a comprehensive gagging clause
* employers are often more frightened of the bully than the target and will go to enormous lengths to avoid having to deal with bully (promotion for the bully is the most common outcome)
Where are people bullied?
* at work by their manager or co-workers or subordinates, or by their clients (bullying, workplace bullying, mobbing, work abuse, harassment, discrimination)
* at home by their partner or parents or siblings or children (bullying, assault, domestic violence, abuse, verbal abuse)
* at school (bullying, harassment, assault)
* in the care of others, such as in hospital, convalescent homes, care homes, residential homes (bullying, harassment, assault)
* in the armed forces (bullying, harassment, discrimination, assault)
* by those in authority (harassment, abuse of power)
* by neighbours and landlords (bullying, harassment)
* by strangers (harassment, stalking, assault, sexual assault, rape, grievous bodily harm, murder)
How do you know if you're being bullied? Bullying differs from harassment and assault in that the latter can result from a single incident or small number of incidents - which everybody recognises as harassment or assault - whereas bullying tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time. Each incident tends to be trivial, and on its own and out of context does not constitute an offence or grounds for disciplinary or grievance action. So, ...
What is bullying?
* constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature - the triviality, regularity and frequency betray bullying; often there is a grain of truth (but only a grain) in the criticism to fool you into believing the criticism has validity, which it does not; often, the criticism is based on distortion, misrepresentation or fabrication
* simultaneous with the criticism, a constant refusal to acknowledge you and your contributions and achievements or to recognise your existence and value
* constant attempts to undermine you and your position, status, worth, value and potential
* where you are in a group (eg at work), being singled out and treated differently; for instance, everyone else can get away with murder but the moment you put a foot wrong - however trivial - action is taken against you
* being isolated and separated from colleagues, excluded from what's going on, marginalized, overruled, ignored, sidelined, frozen out, sent to Coventry
* being belittled, demeaned and patronised, especially in front of others
* being humiliated, shouted at and threatened, often in front of others
* being overloaded with work, or having all your work taken away and replaced with either menial tasks (filing, photocopying, minute taking) or with no work at all
* finding that your work - and the credit for it - is stolen and plagiarised
* having your responsibility increased but your authority taken away
* having annual leave, sickness leave, and - especially - compassionate leave refused
* being denied training necessary for you to fulfil your duties
* having unrealistic goals set, which change as you approach them
* ditto deadlines which are changed at short notice - or no notice - and without you being informed until it's too late
* finding that everything you say and do is twisted, distorted and misrepresented
* being subjected to disciplinary procedures with verbal or written warnings imposed for trivial or fabricated reasons and without proper investigation
* being coerced into leaving through no fault of your own, constructive dismissal, early or ill-health retirement, etc
How do I recognise a bully?
Most bullying is traceable to one person, male or female - bullying is not a gender issue. Bullies are often clever people (especially female bullies) but you can be clever too.
Who does this describe in your life?
* Jekyll & Hyde nature - vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target sees both sides
* is a convincing, compulsive liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
* uses lots of charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present; the motive of the charm is deception and its purpose is to compensate for lack of empathy
* relies on mimicry to convince others that they are a "normal" human being but their words, writing and deeds are hollow, superficial and glib
* displays a great deal of certitude and self-assuredness to mask their insecurity
* excels at deception
* exhibits unusual inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters or sexual behaviour; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or intimations of sexual harassment, sex discrimination or sexual abuse (sometimes racial prejudice as well)
* exhibits much controlling behaviour and is a control freak
* displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to acknowledge, value and praise others
* when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
* often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully is oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen (and believe they are seen), and how they are actually seen
* has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, trust and integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, distrust and deceitfulness)
* when called to account, immediately and aggressively denies everything, then counter-attacks with distorted or fabricated criticisms and allegations; if this is insufficient, quickly feigns victimhood, often by bursting into tears (the purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus evade accountability by manipulating others through the use of guilt)
* is also ... aggressive, devious, manipulative, spiteful, vengeful, doesn't listen, can't sustain mature adult conversation, lacks a conscience, shows no remorse, is drawn to power, emotionally cold and flat, humourless, joyless, ungrateful, dysfunctional, disruptive, divisive, rigid and inflexible, selfish, insincere, insecure, immature and deeply inadequate, especially in interpersonal skills
I (www.bullyoffline.org - not Becky) estimate one person in thirty has this behaviour profile. I describe them as having a disordered personality: an aggressive but intelligent individual who expresses their violence psychologically (constant criticism etc) rather than physically (assault). For the full profile, click here; to see and be able to recognise the four most common types of serial bully, click here.
What does bullying do to my health?
Bullying causes injury to health and makes you ill. How many of these symptoms do you have?
* constant high levels of stress and anxiety
* frequent illness such as viral infections especially flu and glandular fever, colds, coughs, chest, ear, nose and throat infections (stress plays havoc with your immune system)
* aches and pains in the joints and muscles with no obvious cause; also back pain with no obvious cause and which won't go away or respond to treatment
* headaches and migraines
* tiredness, exhaustion, constant fatigue
* sleeplessness, nightmares, waking early, waking up more tired than when you went to bed
* flashbacks and replays, obsessiveness, can't get the bullying out of your mind
* irritable bowel syndrome
* skin problems such as eczema, psoriasis, athlete's foot, ulcers, shingles, urticaria
* poor concentration, can't concentrate on anything for long
* bad or intermittently-functioning memory, forgetfulness, especially with trivial day-to-day things
* sweating, trembling, shaking, palpitations, panic attacks
* tearfulness, bursting into tears regularly and over trivial things
* uncharacteristic irritability and angry outbursts
* hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia), being constantly on edge
* hypersensitivity, fragility, isolation, withdrawal
* reactive depression, a feeling of woebegoneness, lethargy, hopelessness, anger, futility and more
* shattered self-confidence, low self-worth, low self-esteem, loss of self-love, etc
For the full set of symptoms of injury to health caused by prolonged negative stress (such as that caused by bullying, harassment, abuse etc) click here. For details of the trauma that results, click here.
* * *
Near the end of April, right after the Cunningham fatality, I took sick leave because I could not function. I had already been diagnosed with PTSD because of the bullying, but being forced to go out to take photos (that the paper would never use) of what Bernard Baker hoped was the body of a young girl (he kept saying, "I heard it's a young girl, get pictures,") and angry that I needed to get both gas money and gas to get out there (Register & Bee re-imburses gas expenses, so when your gas expenses run $240 a month or more depending on how many fires and accidents there are, it is possible to run out of both money and gas two days before payday when you have to make unexpected runs). It was too much.
In the months prior to that I had taken photos of a woman who poured kerosene on herself and set herself on fire...and photos of an elderly couple who had just celebrated a 50th wedding anniversary then both died in a house fire. I sat in the mud with their adult grandson and held him and we cried and prayed while we sat 30 yards from his grandparents who were covered with sheets. So many fires, so many bodies. Then to have to go back to the newspaper and be bullied, picked at was too much. I could not continue to work.
My brain simply quit functioning. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus, couldn't write. The bullying and retaliation continued. I had been home only two days when I was told to return all the camera equipment. None of the male photographers had ever had to return camera equipment - not when on leave. I was/am the only one at the paper who knows how to use the newspapers cameras. At that point I wasn't even sure I would be out more than a week. They kept on and kept on. I filed for disability and the insurance company (Sedgewick) denied it - based they said, on my doctor's report. The problem was - my doctor had not yet submitted anything other than a note addressed to The Danville Register & Bee's HR department excusing me from work. Fraud?? How can you claim to have looked at non-existent reports and deny a claim based on that? Well - the Register & Bee again - hard at work. And so it goes...they (R&B) continues to lose paperwork my doctor has faxed and when a piece of information is critical they sent it to the wrong address and then waited until the deadline had passed to ask about it. Things that could have been emailed weren't. It was all calculated to force me to quit.
If Human Resources had spent half that energy investigating and acting on my complaint about the bullying or the video tapes of women Mac was taking - none of this would have happened. Bullies. Plain and simple.
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